Thursday, September 23, 2010

Gender: "Goin' to the chapel and we're \ Gonna get married"

Are women waiting too long to try and find Mr. Right? Should they settle for something less? How should a modern women look at, and toward, marriage?

In 2008 Lori Gottlieb wrote Marry Him! in the Atlantic Monthly. The article became a book soon afterwards. In 2010 Megan Mcardle wrote a follow up called Reader, Marry Him! where she mentions On Rings and Hand-Wringing by Emily Gould.

There are two things that fascinate me about this ongoing discussion into modern marriage. First... it does seem to be a better world for young women. After all they don't have to get married. Being single is an option. They don't have to get married young. Getting married in your thirties is a practicality. But they are still being told to be pretty, attractive, and to catch a man (even if only a good-enough one) before they can't catch one at all. I'm not sure whether this is progress or not.

Secondly... in many of these discussions of how women can decide to plan a family and/or plan their futures to match their expectations and goals there isn't much talk about what men should do. Should men try to get married? Do men even care? Do men even ask anymore or is that now the woman's prerogative? Aren't men allowed to want a family and do what's best to help themselves have one? Or are men not necessarily an important part of the conversation anymore?

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